If that was your dad, he is hot
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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