Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
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She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
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You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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