What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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