My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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