plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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