Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
