If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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