you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
