I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
