on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize