In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
my poor anus
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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