East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
