Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
