well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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