I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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