My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just forgot I was standing up.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize