Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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