Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
