Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
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I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
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I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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