Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
