Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
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