Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I got inside last night via doggy door
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
