Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
All the doctor said was why
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
