I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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