While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
