if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
COCAINE IS GR8
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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