I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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