well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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