"it" just moved
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
