If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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