i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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