pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
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