he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
