She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
My life is pants optional.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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