Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
