I wanna passion pit in your ass
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
