I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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