Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
