i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
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Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
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He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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