she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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