Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
just tell him i said nine months
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
