He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Holy shit dude........stairs
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