i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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