so explain again why im purple
no
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
