I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
