READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
And then he peed in my hair
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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