remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize