i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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