Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize