I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
