Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
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I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
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If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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