Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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