Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
