I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize