My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Pooping to opera.
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