THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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